two weeks into retirement, sally ride runs errands and contemplates speed as an empty vector

Jordan Muscal

then, around noon, I go to the grocer’s
and stare at the seasonal aliens.
I toss an orange before I remember.
gravity.
I was happy to be so exhausted.
cobalt uniform, my face
in every newspaper, my sister
teases me: ‘sally-mania’
and I know everything’s changed.

I consult tam’s list. how many years I lived
without her. these are the words
I fill the time with: acceleration, projectile,
inertia, andromeda, nebula
though there are infinite more.
flying to Atlanta to have one meal
together, then racing
back to my moon boys.
you have the only job everyone understands.
how thin the atmosphere looked, how simple-
brained people are. do you weep
when things go wrong?
1 week in space; they want to send
100 tampons with me.

I should tell tam i’d marry her
if she wanted.

the parking lot has filled
and i debate abandoning my cart.
i’ve been doing the hard, right thing
for a long time. when the challenger exploded…
I exchange speed for stagnancy.
I find my car because the cosmos
relies on everyone. tam on me.
I let reagan appoint me
to his panel, I leave NASA.
what do I do now, huh?
the stronger an object’s gravity,
the more slowly it moves
in space.
speed, like me, is an empty vector.
I go to the grocer’s at noon.
I pretend to know the answers.
there is no gravity to fight against, anymore.

and every saturday morning,
before tam’s back wakes her,
I drive pacific highway 1
at 60, 70, 80…
until I enter a new way to explain myself.

The Science

This piece aligns with the theme of Infinity due to its focus on space. Historically, space has captured the imagination of scientists and non-scientists alike because of this characteristic; its neverendingness is exciting and holds great potential for scientific exploration. Sally Ride, the first female American astronaut in space, had an ambition and curiosity that drew her to space as well. In writing this poem, I looked to expand on specific details of Ride's life, making time appear to be an infinite vector as well. The piece begins and ends with the "present"/ Ride's daily life after retiring from NASA. The moments in between center on her decade-long relationship with Tam O'Shaughnessy, a relationship that outlived Ride as most of the world learned about it following her death.

The Poet

Jordan Muscal (she/her) is from Houston, Texas. She enjoys exploring the intersections of science and history and asking lots of questions. Her work has been published in Eucalyptus Lit, Homer Humanities and the Battering Ram.

Next poem: Ultrafinitism by Karin Koller